muddled something haze

There's a song that’s inside of my soul
It’s the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold…

I don’t have any words at the moment. I feel empty in a sad, kinda lost floaty kinda way. I don’t really know where I am, what I think anymore. Everything feels like the weather. Greying and heavy, ready to fall at any given moment. There is a swirl that clouds my mind, covered in thick haze. I don’t know how I got here, and I know I can't go back. And maybe now more than ever I am realising, I don’t want to. I have this hopeless dream that one day I will finally find this effervescent quality that I search for, all the while with my eyes closed.
There is so much more than this, and I want to crave it.

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray